Online Couple's Therapy

About this therapy

Martine is a highly qualified and experienced couples therapist. She draws from many theories within her work, and her goal is to support couples to develop a healthy and shared awareness in regards to their relationship. As we journey in our relationships we change as individuals and often the couple relationship does not evolve with these changes and we develop a lack of shared vision and understanding about one another. If this is not considered and addressed this can lead to a dissatisfaction in the relationship and an uncertainty about the viability of the relationship.

According to John Gottman, a leader in the field of couples therapy there are four factors which are predictive of relationships ending.

These include:

Criticism of your partner’s personality
Defensiveness
Stonewalling, or refusing to interact
Contempt

Gottman further maintains that couples who function effectively treat each other with consideration and are supportive of each other. In relationships couples often lose their way and the above factors creep in and relationships become stressed and conflictual.

How do couples resolve this?

With the help of a skilled couples therapist couples are supported to communicate in ways that allow each person in the relationship to ‘listen’, reflect and to learn how to appreciate and enjoy one another and to learn to live with the differences that exist.

Couples are supported to manage conflict and create a sense of shared meaning and connection in their relationship, helping them to make sense of their struggles.

Meet martine

5 Principles

1. Changes the views of the relationship. Throughout the therapeutic process, the therapist attempts to help both partners see the relationship in a more objective manner. They learn to stop the "blame game" and instead look at what happens to them as a process involving each partner.

2. Modifies dysfunctional behaviour. Effective couples therapists attempt to change the way that the partners actually behave with each other. This means that in addition to helping them improve their interactions, therapists also need to ensure that their clients are not engaging in actions that can cause physical, psychological, or economic harm.

3. Decreases emotional avoidance. Couples who avoid expressing their private feelings put themselves at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and hence grow apart. Effective couples therapists help their clients bring out the emotions and thoughts that they fear expressing to the other person. Attachment based couples therapy allows the partners to feel less afraid of expressing their needs for closeness.

4. Improves communication. Being able to communicate is one of the core elements of intimacy. All effective couples therapies focus on helping the partners to communicate more effectively. Couples may require "coaching" to learn how to speak to each other in more supportive and understanding ways.

5. Promotes strengths. Because so much of couples therapy involves focusing on problem areas, it's easy to lose sight of the other areas in which couples function effectively. The point of promoting strength is to help the couple derive more enjoyment out of their relationship.